Life Through the Eyes of the Youngest
by whereverwithyou
Summary: This is about events in Phoebe's life that lead up to her leaving for New York. COMPLETE
1. Moving In Day

Life Through the Eyes of the Youngest

A/N: (Read/skim so you know what's going on here!) This is a story about Phoebe's life, a few months before she left for New York. The parts in italics are entries in her diary. I'm trying to make it so that the last sentence of every chapter foreshadows something to come or hint at something about the show, so I hope that continues to work out…

I know this should take place in 1998, but I'm breaking the continuity to fit my original ideas. It's 1997. If you haven't read any of my other Charmed fics, then there's one thing you should know: mostly all of my stories have one thing in them that is different from the Charmed-verse. I won't tell you what it is because that would spoil the surprise. This contradicts a few minor things in another story, _The Lost Halliwell_, but since when have Charmed episodes not contradicted each other? Well, now that I'm done rambling, here's what you actually clicked on this page for:

……………………………………..

CHAPTER ONE- MOVING IN DAY

_January 4, 1997_

_Well, today's the day Piper and Prue move back in. I can't wait to see who tries to kill who first- me or Prue? (sarcasm) Anyway, what I mean is that things would be a lot easier around here if I didn't have someone else coming to yell at me about how I live my life. Thanks for having a heart condition, Grams. And Prue's probably going to blame me for that, too. God, sometimes she doesn't seem like my sister at all. More like a Nazi who's been forced to live with us… These last few years without her around were heaven. Well, at least Piper's coming back too. Oh great, hell's about to break loose. I just heard a car door close. My room's around the back so I can't see who's parked outside, but it's got to be them. Any minute now, Prue's going to stomp her way up here, barge into my room without knocking, and say something like_

"You have to carry some things in too, y'know," Prue said sternly, glaring at Phoebe, who was lying on her stomach on her bed.

"I didn't hear you guys come in," Phoebe lied, quickly closing her diary. "In fact, I didn't hear you knock on my door, either," she sniped. Prue rolled her eyes. "Could you please at least _try_ to respect my privacy, Prue? What if I was changing clothes in here, or… I was with a guy or something?" As soon as the words came out of Phoebe's mouth, she knew it was the wrong thing to say.

"After you make advances towards your sister's fiancé, I don't think any guy would want to sleep with a tramp like you," Prue said coldly. She turned to leave.

Phoebe groaned, sitting up on her bed. "I never touched him!" she said. Prue started down the hall, ignoring her completely. Phoebe shuffled over to her door. "Do you really want to start an argument the minute you move in?" she called. Once again, no answer from Prue. Phoebe rolled her eyes and turned back to her bed. She grabbed her diary from the sheets and hid it. Ever since Grams announced that her sisters were moving back in, Phoebe had known Prue would say something like that. She'd been ready for it. But she still didn't expect an insult like tramp. Phoebe stepped out of her room, shut the door, and headed downstairs. Unpacking time.

"Hey, Phoebe!" Piper smiled as Phoebe passed her on her way out the front door. She was carrying two duffel bags full of stuff.

"Oh hi, Piper!" Phoebe smiled back. She continued across the porch, down the steps, and to the car, where Prue was picking up a heavy cardboard box full of stuff. They exchanged quick, tense eye contact and then Phoebe grabbed the first thing she saw. It was a lamp, and she could carry it in one hand.

"I see lazy little Phoebe can only carry the light things," Prue jousted. It was quite a childish insult, but it still made Phoebe angry. She put her free hand on her hip.

"You trying to start something? Because I'll bet lazy little Phoebe could give you a black eye," Phoebe said, glaring at her sister. Their faces were only about a foot apart, and neither of them blinked.

"Uh, Prue, shouldn't you be meeting up with Roger to go over wedding arrangements?" Piper asked, destroying the tension. She was always good at breaking up their impending catfights.

"Right," Prue said plainly. Piper took the last suitcase out of the back of the car and shut the trunk as Prue got in and started it. She pulled away. Phoebe silently picked up the suitcase in her other hand. She and Piper carried the last of the things into the Manor.

Phoebe sighed. "Will she ever believe me? Or at least forgive me?" she asked Piper.

"Unless one of us can see the future, I don't think we'll know anytime soon."

A/N: Thanks for reading! I'll update soon, but only if I get reviews! (If not I'll still update, just a long time from now!)


	2. Witches Are Evil

A/N: I said I'd only update soon if I got reviews, and well, I got one, but I think that's a good start, so I'll make another chapter, just like an Easter treat for the person who reviewed. (Hope you celebrate Easter, or I'll seem like a jerk saying that!) This chapter introduces Phoebe's best friend, and the whole point of it was to create a sense of nostalgia, like it's actually 1997. The song I used as Phoebe's "philosophy on life" is Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall: Part 2." (Awesome song.) _The Craft_ is a real movie starring Neve Campbell, and although I didn't like it that much I used it because the movie does feature the song "How Soon Is It Now?", better known as Charmed's theme song.

andy20: Thanks for your review! I'm glad you like the story so far! Tell all your friends to review, too!

CHAPTER TWO- "WITCHES ARE EVIL"

"That was the stupidest thing we've ever done; go to school both dressed in grunge!" Phoebe's friend Katie exclaimed as she set her backpack down in her room.

"Well, we lost a bet fair and square," Phoebe replied, shoving her backpack next to her friend's. "But it did look stupid… and three years out of style. Plus, plaid makes me look like a man." She tore the vest off and threw it in a corner.

Katie plopped down on her bed. "I can't believe they gave us so much homework!"

"I know," Phoebe sympathized. She rummaged through her backpack. "Perhaps it's time to restate our philosophy on life." She pulled out a CD, shoved it in the boom box nearby, and pressed play. The voices of Pink Floyd instantly filled the room.

"_We don't need no education._

_We don't need no thought control._

_No dark sarcasm in the classroom._

_Teacher leave them kids alone."_

"Hey! Teacher! Leave them kids alone!" Phoebe happily shouted along with the band.

"_All in all it's just another brick in the wall._

_All in all you're just another brick in the wall."_

"How old is that song, anyway?" Katie laughed. "Don't you have anything newer?"

"Like what?" Phoebe asked.

"I dunno… Hanson maybe?"

"Are you serious?" Phoebe asked incredulously.

"Well, they're kind of in right now."

"Yeah, kind of. Which means they won't be for long. Have you even heard _MMMBOP_?" Phoebe asked. "It's three pre-pubescent boys singing a song out of key with words that don't exist in any language. If you ask me, it sounds like Ryan on pot."

Katie laughed. "Are you insulting Ryan's singing abilities? And he does not smoke pot!"

"How do you know?"

"Well, he's my boyfriend, I should know!"

"But you didn't know him in High School, miss parochial, I did," Phoebe reminded.

"Oh God, he doesn't do drugs, does he?" Katie asked, a little worried.

"No," Phoebe admitted. "But so what if he did?"

"Well, that might fly at your house, but my mom is _so _religious… if she ever knew I had a pot-smoking boyfriend…"

"I can imagine. And it wouldn't fly with my Grams either," Phoebe said. _Another Brick in the Wall: Part 2 _was drawing to a close. Phoebe took out the CD. "Inspired by Pink Floyd, I think we should prolong doing our homework this afternoon."

"Whatever…" Katie said. "So what do you want to do then?"

"I dunno… what's on TV?"

"Nothing but some Ally McBeal reruns at this hour."

"Ugh," Phoebe scoffed. "Hey, do you think Steve was checking me out today, with the grunge and all? I know he likes Nirvana."

"Dream on, Phoebe. He may be hot, but Steve Baker would _never _look in our direction."

"I guess you're right. I mean, in the social spectrum, he's a jock and I'm an outcast. It just can't happen. Especially with his blonde bimbo bitchy cheerleader girlfriend Tiffany Anders involved."

"Phoebe!" Katie scolded.

"What? I said bitchy. So what? We're juniors in college, not sixth graders."

"I know, it's just with my mom's rules against profanity, well… It's odd to hear discourse so plainly."

"I get it; you don't have to quote _The Raven_." Phoebe turned on the radio, and the overplayed beat of the _Macarena _filled the room. She turned it off instantly. "Will they ever stop playing that stupid song?" She complained, sighing. "Got any good movies to watch?"

"I dunno, you'll have to look," Katie replied, lounging on her bed. Phoebe got on her knees and dug through a box full of tapes.

"Let's see here… _Ace Ventura_?" she asked as she pulled it out.

"Nah, it isn't as funny after the 27th time," Katie said.

"Right," Phoebe agreed, tossing it aside. "_Grease_… nope, too perky." She placed it on top of _Ace Ventura_. "I don't 'Go Together' with anyone."

"Aw, Pheebs, you'll find a guy soon enough."

"It's not just about a guy, Katie. I mean, my relationship with everyone is unsteady lately. Especially Prue."

"Oh yeah, I forgot she moved back in. Lucky you."

"I can't believe she'll take the word of some guy she likes over her own sister's! She never even yelled at Roger, or questioned him or anything! If I didn't touch him, but he told Prue I did, then he must want something, y'know? And that hasn't even crossed her mind," Phoebe vented.

"Well, maybe it will," Katie said hopefully.

"I doubt it. And even without this issue she's still hard to live with. I swear, if Prue and I sang 'We Go Together,' I think the planet would explode."

Katie laughed. "You might be right on that one."

"_Wayne's World_… nah, I'm tired of that one," Phoebe said to herself, pulling out more tapes. "I heard they're making a new Mike Myers movie."

"Really? What's it called?"

"_Austin_ _Powers: International Man of Mystery_."

"Sounds like a cross between James Bond and the 'Fred Garvin: Male Prostitute' sketch on Saturday Night Live."

Phoebe laughed. "What's this?" She pulled out a tape. "_The Craft_. What's it about?"

"Witches or something," Katie replied. I haven't watched it in about a year.

"Well, why not?" Phoebe said. She put the tape in the VCR.

…………………………………

Phoebe and Katie watched the movie as the main character, Sarah, got frightened over a snake, as she magically balanced a pencil on its point, as she met a group of three girls at school, and as a boy advised her about the girls, "Stay away from them. They're witches."

They continued watching the film as background music started to play.

"_I am the son…_

_I am the heir…" _It began.

"Phoebe, your grandmother called," Katie's mom said, opening the door. "She wants you back over at home."

Phoebe gathered her things. "Bye Katie. Bye Mrs. Clark," she said as she walked out.

"Oh, Katie, you're not watching this movie again!" Mrs. Clark complained. "I thought I made myself clear that I didn't want you too! It's so satanic." She looked at the characters on the screen and sighed, turning off the TV. "Witches are evil."

A/N: That's all for now! Please review!


	3. Not Meant To Be Sisters

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad everyone likes the story so far! This next chapter is short, so it only took a little while to write, but the next one is where the storyline really begins!

Princess Pinky: Thanks for reviewing! You of course have read my other stories so you know what happens, but I'm glad you still find this enjoyable! And yes, people who think The Craft is satanic are hypocrites, lol…

Erica: Happy Easter to you, too! (That is, if you celebrate Easter…)

Coquetry: Sorry about not being able to watch The Craft! Well, anyway, I'm glad you like the story so far and I hope you continue to like it once it develops further!

CHAPTER THREE- NOT MEANT TO BE SISTERS

_January 23, 1997_

_Prue's been back almost three weeks and still hasn't shown any kindness whatsoever towards me. She uses my every flaw as an excuse to call me the black sheep of the family. I hate it. I hate her. (If I told Piper that, she'd just say "Hate is a strong word, Phoebe." Like that would help me.) Just an hour ago was dinner. The Halliwells have gone almost three weeks without saying a word to each other at the table. Prue and I don't even look at each other; we just stare at our food. Piper smiles and tries to start a conversation, in hopes of getting us to drop this grudge we have against each other, but it never works. (Hey, Prue's the one with the grudge, not me.) Grams just stares vacantly at all of us. Her whole face seems to sigh as she watches us argue. She gave up trying to make us tolerate each other a long time ago. Unlike Piper, Grams realizes it can't be done. Prue and I were just not meant to be sisters, I swear it. I think one of us got switched at birth and we've been forced to live with each other in this house ever since. Every time one of us tries to move out, something always happens that makes us move back in. I attempted having a dorm at college once- not a good idea. It was rat-infested, thanks to the jackasses who left food in there after they graduated. I was too freaked to try and find another dorm after that. So of course, here I am, and here I'll be for the rest of eternity. Hopefully not an eternity with Prue._

A/N: The next chapter might take a little longer, but hang in there! Review!


	4. The Party

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry this chapter took a little longer!

Princess Pinky: Yeah, I know, sorry it was so short! It looked longer on Microsoft Word! Well anyway, I'm glad you thought I kept Phoebe in character!

Coquetry: You didn't have to go to the trouble to read my other stories, but thanks for doing so! I don't consider them one-shots though, because although I didn't make chapters for those I still revised and edited them ALOT. (Except I think I'm going to re-write some of "The Lost Halliwell" so it flows better.) I did start to write a story that was a prequel to "Pamela Halliwell: Wiccan Outcast," but I stopped because I would have to kill Piper in it and I figured reviewers would get really mad at me. So I just took the most important scenes from that story and re-wrote "Pamela Halliwell" so they were incorporated in. I guess I sort of lost some Phoebe/Pam bonding while doing so. But remember, there's more to come in this story, so it might somewhat satisfy what you wanted to see!

Alyssa Halliwell: Well, better late then never! Glad you discovered my fic! Hope you like it!

CHAPTER FOUR- THE PARTY

_February 8, 1997_

_From what I heard around campus today, Danny Lyons is throwing a kick-ass party at his place on Saturday! I of course am going, but Katie isn't so sure. Poor girl. No matter how much I brainwash her with delinquency, she still can't leave behind her religious roots. Well, she's come a long way since I met her. And if I can convince her to go, Saturday will be her first attempt at sneaking out of the house. Lucky for me, there's a tree right outside my window, so I can just open it and climb down noiselessly. (Like I've done a thousand times.) But it'll be harder for Katie. There's nothing to grab on to by her window but a trellis, so she either has to tip-toe through the house or try her luck with a weak structure._

"I'm telling you, Katie, you're not going to regret it if you go," Phoebe persuaded.

"Are you sure? Because what if my mom finds out? She'll place me on house arrest for the next five years!"

"Stop being so paranoid about getting caught," Phoebe advised. "I've gotten caught before. You get grounded for a while. So what? Think about the time you'll have atthe party, not what you'll get in trouble for after it. Speaking of the party, can you imagine if some guy's dumb enough to actually wear a toga?"

Katie chuckled. "I guess you're right, it would be fun… but if I get caught, I'm never going anywhere with you again!"

"Alright, then it's settled. We're going to Danny Lyons' party on Saturday night. Now what to wear?"

……………………………

_February 13, 1997_

_The party starts at ten. It's 9:45 right now. I have on the outfit I'm wearing: a leopard print top, leather miniskirt, and leather jacket. I'm also wearing high-heel pumps, but they'll be hard to climb down a tree in so I'm just going to drop them out the window and put them on when I get down there. Hopefully I won't get any runs in my stockings… they're fishnets. Cool, huh? Oh what do you know? You're just a book. Well, whatever. Time to sneak out. I can't believe Grams still falls for that pillow trick._

Phoebe hid her diary and stuffed some pillows under her covers, to make it look like she was sleeping there. She then turned off her bedroom lamp and tip-toed over to the window. She opened it as soundlessly as possible and dropped her shoes down to the grass below. Next, she climbed over to the branch that stuck out near the window, which she shut behind her. It was a bit hard in a leather skirt, but she made it to the ground and put her shoes on without anyone noticing she was outside of the house. (It was a good thing no one was in the solarium.) Phoebe then walked over to the gate in the fence and opened it, entering the neighbor's yard. It was too risky to walk around to the front of the house and start down the sidewalk from there. Some one would surely see her, especially since Prue's room had a large window overlooking the front of the Manor. The house next door was Katie's, so Phoebe had no fears of trespassing. She wondered if Katie had snuck out yet, or if she'd chickened out and decided not to go.

"Phoebe!" a voice whispered. Phoebe looked up to see Katie leaning out of her bedroom window. "Wait up!"

She maneuvered her way onto the windowsill and from there started down the trellis like it was a ladder. But just as Phoebe feared, it was too weak to hold her. As it snapped, Katie screamed and frantically grabbed hold of the gutter. Phoebe gasped.

"Oh my God," Phoebe said softly.

"Now what?" Katie asked as she dangled.

"Well… I"

But Phoebe was cut off when part of the gutter snapped free from the house and swung down so it was perpendicular to the grass below. Katie screamed again, and then the structure she was holding completely broke free. She landed in a bush.

"Oh my God, Katie, are you okay?" Phoebe asked, rushing over to her.

"Yeah, I think so," she said as Phoebe helped her up.

"Okay, well c'mon, we have to get out of here before someone sees us!"

They ran around to the front of the house just as they heard Katie's back door open. At the same time, they heard Grams shout, "Is someone out there?" Katie and Phoebe took off down the sidewalk. Once they were around the corner, they simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief. Phoebe started laughing.

"What?" Katie asked.

"You broke the gutter!" Phoebe said through her laughter.

"It wasn't funny!" Katie replied. "It hurt! I'm gonna get a bruise on my leg for that! Look, I even scratched my arm landing in that bush!"

Phoebe laughed harder. "I forgot about the bush part!"

"Stop it!" Katie whined.

"Sorry, it's just that that was the worst attempt to sneak out I've ever seen!"

"Well it worked, didn't it?"

"Yeah, it did. Nice outfit by the way. The shorts are very Daisy Duke."

"Good, that's what I was going for. It's not too slutty, is it?"

"No, Katie, it's fine. You look great."

"You sure? What if it gets me raped or something?"

"Stop worrying! You sound like Piper."

They walked a few blocks and turned down Marsh Lane. Once there, they could already hear the blasting sounds of _Smells Like Teen Spirit_ at the other end of the street.

"I guess everything's already in full swing," Phoebe commented as they continued walking. They got up to the door and shuffled in. Once inside the music was even more deafening. Katie covered her ears, but Phoebe braved Kurt Cobain's ear-shattering vocals.

_With the lights out_

_It's less dangerous_

_Here we are now_

_Entertain us_

_I feel stupid_

_And contagious_

_Here we are now_

_Entertain us_

"Hey, Phoebe, you made it!" Greg Daniels said as he caught sight of them.

"Hey, Greg," Phoebe replied.

"Want a beer?" He asked.

"Sure," she said, grabbing a bottle from him. Greg handed one to Katie. She took it, but unlike Phoebe, didn't drink it right away. "What?" Phoebe asked. "You're 21."

"No, you are. I'm only 20. It's illegal!"

"So what?" Phoebe said, taking another sip of hers.

"W… what if he put something in it?"

"Oh, c'mon, you know Greg. He may be somewhat of a perv, but he wouldn't do that. Drink." So Katie did.

"Hey, Katie! I didn't know you were coming!" Her boyfriend Ryan said as he met up with them.

"Hi! I'm drinking! Can you believe it? I'm drinking!" Katie said, holding up the bottle.

"Uh yeah, that's-" But Ryan was interrupted by Katie before he could say anything further.

"You don't smoke pot, do you?"

"No, I don't smoke pot!" Ryan said, laughing a bit at the randomness of the question. He turned to Phoebe. "Exactly how much has she had?"

"Oh, don't"

Before Phoebe could finish her answer, someone grabbed her arm. "Let's dance, babe!" he said. She looked back at her friends before being led to the dance floor with everyone else.

………………………………….

Phoebe continued dancing and talking for a while after that. The party was obviously fun for everyone, and once Katie had been drinking for a while, her self-consciousness disappeared. She danced right along with everyone else, and was surprisingly good. Phoebe danced near her sometimes, but mostly they were separated. That was due to the fact that so many people were shoved in the tiny house. You barely saw the same face twice.

"Nice moves," a familiar voice said behind Phoebe. She turned around to see none other than her crush, Steve Baker, standing there.

"Uh… thanks," she said. Without warning, Steve leaned in and kissed her. She was stunned for a second, then said the only thing she could think to say. "What about your girlfriend?"

"Eh, screw her. I like you, Phoebe."

Phoebe raised an eyebrow. "How drunk are you?"

"Not very. You?"

"I'm not sure… Oh, what the hell." She kissed him, realizing that this might be the only chance to actually have a jock boyfriend. Steve kissed her back.

………………………………

"Everyone out!" Danny Lyons said again as he ushered people onto the street.

"Yeah, yeah, we're going," Phoebe called back. Slowly people shuffled away from the house.

"So drunk…" Katie mumbled, laughing at herself.

"But you had fun though, right?"

"Definitely."

Phoebe smiled. "Did you see when Rob Grayson crashed into the punch bowl?"

Katie laughed. "Oh yeah. That was great." They staggered on silently for a little while.

"So…" Phoebe said, "Guess who got lucky tonight?"

"Oh my God Phoebe, are you serious?"

"Uh-huh," she smirked.

"With who?"

"Steve Baker."

"No way. You're lying," Katie said incredulously.

"Yes way," Phoebe replied proudly.

"But he has a girlfriend! How drunk was he?"

"He said not very."

"And you believed him?"

Phoebe laughed. "Well maybe he was lying, but so what? We still would've slept together either way." The two turned down Prescott Street and approached their houses. "Well, bye," Phoebe said as they got to Katie's front door. It was sometime after four am, so all the lights were off.

"Wait!" Katie whispered, staring up at the dark windows in fear.

"What?" Phoebe asked, wondering what her sudden change in behavior was for.

"I can't go in there!"

"Why not?"

"My mom'll wake up! I'll never sneak in unheard, considering what I did sneaking out."

Phoebe laughed. "Oh yeah, that _was _funny…"

"Phoebe! This is not the time to laugh!"

"Right. Sorry. Well… if you're that concerned, you can crash at my place if you want."

"Really? Thank you somuch, Phoebe!"

"But what will you tell your mom tomorrow when you're not at home?"

"Oh, God, I didn't think of that! Uh… I'll tell her you needed help with your homework!"

"In the middle of the night?"

"Aw, man…"

"Don't panic. Tomorrow's Sunday… What time does your mom wake you up for church?"

"Around nine I guess."

"Well, at around eight thirty or something, walk in the front door and tell her you got up early to get the paper for her. You'll have to get the paper on your way in of course."

"Okay… but I can't go in dressed like this!"

"You can borrow some of my clothes."

"You're an angel, Phoebe!"

"Yeah, yeah, thank me later. Right now we should get inside. It's cold out here!" she shivered.

Katie followed Phoebe around the back of the Manor. Since climbing a tree drunk was clearly not a good idea, the two went in the back door. They tiptoed up the stairs and down the hall towards Phoebe's room. On the way, Prue's door opened. The three stared silently at each other for a minute.

"Do you know how much trouble you're going to get into for this?" Prue asked sternly.

"Yes. Yes I do, Prue, and you don't have to scold me ahead of time for it. It's bad enough that you're going to tell on me," Phoebe replied.

"Why's it bad?" Prue asked.

"Because, you're my sister, Prue. Sisters aren't supposed to tell on each other. They're supposed to keep secrets, and confide in one another… and _trust _each other." Everyone knew Phoebe was referring to the Roger issue.

"Sorry, but I'm not your average sister," Prue replied.

"Well then at least don't tell on Katie. I forced her to go, it's my fault. Please, Prue. If you love me at all… pretend you didn't see her."

Prue blinked. "Fine," she declared, shutting her door. Katie breathed a sigh of relief. They walked into Phoebe's room and shut the door behind them.

"I can't believe she did that," Katie said. "Agree not to tell anyone I'm hiding out over here…"

"Neither can I," Phoebe replied. "Maybe we'll get along someday after all."


	5. Worries

A/N: Sorry, another short chapter! But I want to end the chapter where I end it for suspense... Anyway, sorry for not updating sooner, I started school again. (ugh.)

Princess Pinky: Once again, I'm glad to hear I'm keeping Phoebe in character! Thanks for the Kudos!

Lili: Wow, you only just read the beggining of this and already I'm being called a great author! Thank you! Please continue reading!

CHAPTER FIVE- WORRIES

_February 26, 1997_

_Until a day or so ago, I was still reeling from the fact that Prue actually did something nice for me after that party. Thanks to her, no one else ever found out that Katie was gone that night. I can't believe I'm actually thanking Prue… Well anyway, now something else is occupying my brain. I can't concentrate in school or anything, I'm so worried. Oh God, this is bad. I think I'm pregnant. This is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. And I was so drunk at that party that I can't even remember who I slept with, all I know is I slept with someone! God, it's all just so hazy… I wish I could remember. And I wish I knew if I'm pregnant or if I'm just late. I hope so bad I'm just late. I didn't even want to write about this until now because I'm scared Prue or Grams will read it. Can you imagine how mad they'd be? But now I have to write it, I have to vent. Oh God, what am I going to do? In nine months, I could have a child. Oh man, Prue and I were just maybe starting to get along, and now this happens? She'll never let me live it down, ever. And if Grams finds out, I think it'll give her a heart attack. That would be the worst thing ever, killing my grandmother and then having a baby. What am I going to do? People would taunt me so much in school, they'd call me a skank… and what if Grams doesn't support me? What if she throws me out in the streets, or… I can't even think of the "what ifs" right now. I'm too worried about all of this. And Katie's mom will probably not let us be friends anymore, and the whole church community and everyone will glare at me, and I'll look really, really bad at Prue's wedding (if she even invites me), and what if I end up having to find out who the father is on Maury or something? Okay, I know I'm getting carried away here. Everything might be fine. But what if it's not? A kid is the last thing I need right now. I swear, there will be no time in my life where I will be on my knees begging for a child. Never. I, Phoebe Halliwell, do not want, and never will want children._

A/N: He he he, a cliffhanger! Enjoy the suspense! (_If _you thought this was suspenseful, that is. Well, whatever...)


	6. The Results Are In

A/N: I'm putting the responses to the reviewers at the end of this chapter this time, since I can answer them easier after this chapter's been read. So don't worry, I didn't forget about you guys, you'll just have to read the chapter first before you read my responses!

CHAPTER SIX- THE RESULTS ARE IN

Phoebe anxiously paced around the bathroom. It seemed like she had been waiting an eternity. She felt sick to her stomach. Finally the time was up. She looked at the results with a shaking hand.

"Oh God!" She said. "Oh God, oh God, oh God…" she kept repeating it as she paced around the bathroom. "What now?" she thought to herself. She was about to throw it in the trash, but she realized that that would be a bad idea. Prue would surely find it. "Uh… next door," she said to herself. She barged out of the bathroom and walked briskly through her house.

"Phoebe, where are you going?" Piper asked from the living room.

"I'll be back soon!" Phoebe said frantically as she opened the front door.

"Don't you want a coat?"

Phoebe didn't answer; she was already dashing out the door in bare feet and her pajamas. She opened the front door of the Clark house and rushed in.

"Phoebe? What are you doing here?" Mrs. Clark asked as Phoebe ran through the kitchen. She was cooking sausage, and the smell made Phoebe feel sick.

"Uh… I just have to talk to Katie," Phoebe replied, starting up the stairs. She entered Katie's room. "Katie! Wake up!" Phoebe said, shaking her.

"_Uhhh_… Wh-aat?" she groaned, opening her eyes.

"This is what!" Phoebe said, shoving the pregnancy test she'd just taken in her friend's face. Katie was still half-asleep.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Work with me here! It means… I'm pregnant."

Now Katie was wide awake. She instantly sat up in bed. "What? _Please _tell me this is a joke!"

"God I wish it was," Phoebe replied.

"W-When did this happen?"

"At Danny Lyons' party."

"Oh this is bad… who did it?"

"That's the worst part, I can't remember! Did I tell you anything?"

"Not that I know of… it's all kind of a blur."

"Yeah, for me too," Phoebe replied. They were silent for a minute.

"What are you going to do?" Katie asked.

"I have no idea," Phoebe said. "This is all so scary… I know Grams and Prue are going to flip when they hear this one. Oh man, I don't want to tell them! But I have to… I mean, what other choice do I have, move in with my manic aunt?"

"Don't do that," Katie advised.

"Hey, could I hide out over here for the next nine months or so?"

"Are you crazy? There is no way my mom wouldn't find you. I'm sorry, Phoebe."

"There's no one else…" Phoebe sighed. Suddenly, an idea struck her. "_Unless_…"

"What?"

"Dad. My dad. From what I've heard, he lives in New York City. If I go there, and find him…"

"Phoebe, think logically! That's suicide! What if you don't find him? You'll be stranded on the other side of the country with an infant. How do you expect to get home?"

"I… I don't know," Phoebe said. Without warning, she started to cry.

"Aw, Pheebs, it's okay," Katie comforted.

"No it's not," Phoebe cried, overwhelmed by the situation. "How am I going to handle this? It's confusing now, what's it going to be like when I actually have the kid?"

"You'll find a way," Katie assured.

"I'm sorry," Phoebe sniffled, grabbing a Kleenex. "It must be the hormones."

"Hey," Mrs. Clark said, knocking on the door. She opened it as Phoebe quickly dried her eyes, praying she hadn't heard. "As long as you're here, Phoebe, do you want some breakfast?" she asked.

"Uh… sure," Phoebe replied. Mrs. Clark left. The girls breathed a sigh of relief as they realized that Mrs. Clark hadn't heard them. Phoebe opened the window and chucked the pregnancy test over the back fence.

"What was that for?" Katie asked.

"So no one finds out," Phoebe replied. "There are some secrets in this world that are never meant to be exposed."

A/N: he he, now your questions are answered!

Lili: Glad you thought the Maury thing was funny! I hope you liked this chapter as well!

Princess Pinky: What a doozy is right! I'm happy you "can't wait for more." I updated this ASAP!

charmed4eva1990: Sorry... as you read, Phoebe is pregnant. Please keep reading though, even if this didn't turn out quite like you hoped!

Alyssa Halliwell: Don't you hate it when computers turn on you? Yeah, I know, Prue was mean, but that's part of her character. (Her pre-Charmed character anyway.) And now you also know that yes, Phoebe is pregnant. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	7. Decisions

A/N: Originally this was three seprate chapters, but I realized they were all really fillers, so I combined them. I couldn't think of a better title for this chapter though... My usual dividers got screwed up somehow, so in this chapter I'm using "OOOOO" as a divider.

Princess Pinky: That's ok if you can't review for a while. I understand. Glad this rocked your pink socks! I'm still wearing the black knee-highs from my school uniform... ok,I'm rambling, you probably don't care...

Alyssa Halliwell: Yeah, I know Phoebe would make a good mom based on her "natural" mother instincts. But that's what inspired me to write all this in the first place. I thought to myself, "What if she's so goodwith babiesbecause she already _had _a kid of her own?" And, well, here we are...

charmed4eva1990: Glad to see you're still reading this even though you didn't want Phoebe to end up pregnant! Everyone seems to feel sorry for Phoebe as they read this... I guess allmy reviewers think alike!

fanmania: Hey, a new reviewer to my story! Thanks for jumping on the bandwagon, better late than never! Glad you're liking this so far!

CHAPTER SEVEN- DECISIONS

_March 4, 1997_

_I know it's risky, but I still haven't been able to shake that New York notion. I know there are a million things that could happen to doom me forever, like if my dad won't help me or if I can't even find him at all. But I just don't want my family to find out about this. I know it sounds stupid, but it's a big issue for me. Not only will they look at me differently, but so will the rest of San Francisco. And Prue will think of a million other cruel insults to taunt me with. There is no way she'll ever believe I didn't make advances towards Roger if she finds out I'm pregnant. God I hate keeping secrets. Especially one this big. I can't believe I've managed to hide it this long; I'm usually terrible with secrets. How long can I keep hiding it? New York is really sounding good right now… It seems so easy- leave a note, sneak out in the night, hop on a bus, ride across the country. But what happens when I get there? I'll need money for a place to live, money to raise a child, money for food, for clothes… It's all so complicated. Especially if there's no one there to help me out. And financial stability is only half of it- how in the world am I supposed to be a good mother? I know nothing about babies! I will fail as a parent. Why did dad have to leave? Why couldn't he just be like every normal father? So many things would be different today if he had just stayed. Maybe we'll never know the real reason why he left us._

OOOOOOOOOO

"Phoebe?" Piper asked as she walked in the living room from the solarium. "Were you just… crying?"

"Oh… well, it's this TV movie I'm watching. It's so sad!" Phoebe answered, grabbing a tissue.

"Are you feeling okay? You don't usually cry over movies."

"I… guess I've just been emotional lately."

"PMS?"

"I wish," Phoebe muttered.

"What?"

"Probably. I said probably. It's probably PMS, you're right."

_March 18, 1997_

_It's been about a month since I got pregnant, and I still can't believe it's even happened. Holding a baby in my arms and knowing it's mine… it gives me chills. I want so badly to tell Piper what's going on. She'd understand me, give me advice. She's the only one who really acts like my sister. I wonder if anyone can sense that I'm hiding something. God I hope not… _

_I've already started to get the pregnancy symptoms: hormones, morning sickness, breast pain… it sucks. This makes me wonder why everyone even bothers with this. Why don't they just adopt? It would be a lot less stressful… and less painful. _

_I'm so scared about everything. My grades have started to drop because of all that's weighing on my mind. I can't sleep at night, and it doesn't help that I can't have coffee. I try everything to get my mind away from it all- TV, music, books… and nothing works. I haven't even thought of baby names yet. Our family has kept a tradition of giving our kids a "P" name for at least four generations. So what are my options? All the desirable names seem to have been taken. What's left, Priscilla? Partridge? What am I having, a hippie child? Well, now that I think of it, there are a few normal names left. Like Pamela, or Paige… _

OOOOOOOOOOO

_March 23, 1997_

_Katie's still the only other person who knows about my child. (I've drawn the list of names down to Peri, Paula, Pamela, and Paige.) Neither of us have come up with a better plan for me to keep this a secret than going to New York. Katie suggests that I go somewhere closer, like Seattle or something, just in case I need to come home. But my father might be in New York. I barely got to know him growing up. This may be the only chance I'll get to meet him. Well, if I do this, I'll have to do it soon. I'm gonna start showing in what, two months? And my breasts will grow before that. (Knowing Prue, she'll probably think I'm just stuffing my bra to look more like a slut or something.) _

_I have to get out of here. Any moment someone could find out what's been going on, and all my secret-keeping would be worthless. Plus, it would help to get out of the city for a change. Not only have I been here my whole life, but I'm the only Halliwell to never have lived somewhere other than this house. (I was even born it in for Christ's sakes!) I'm getting kind of tired of this old red house, all these stained glass windows, every antique… not to mention Prue's insults and Grams' nagging. I guess pregnancy makes you feel restless, too. I feel like I have to go to New York, despite all the risks. Like I'm supposed to or something. Everything happens for a reason, right?_

A/N: Sorry if it might have seemed jumbled together. Remember, until recently it was three short chapters. Next chapter will tie-in to "Pre-Witched." Hope you enjoy! Review!


	8. Escape Haulted

A/N: I was going to update this yesterday but my computer was going screwy! Sorry! The events in this chapter are based around the flashback scenes in "Pre-Witched." Enjoy!

Lili: Just in time! I recieved your review only a few mintues ago! That's ok that you didn't review before. As long as you're still reading, I'm happy!

Alyssa Halliwell: So, you liked the babyname scene, huh? Before I wrote that I had been bored and decided to write down all the "P" girl names I could think of on a piece of paper, so that's where they all came from. My conclusions from writing out all those names? There are ALOT more "M" girl names than "P"'s! (Yes, I did M's too... don't ask.)

charmed4eva1990: Yey! You're not going to stop reading! Like I said before, I tried to update earlier but my computer went wonky! (Ha ha, wonky... That's Piper's word if I'm not mistaken...)

CHAPTER EIGHT- ESCAPE HAULTED

_April 8, 1997_

_I've picked a baby name… Pamela Ann Halliwell. Pretty, huh? Yeah, as soon as I picked it I realized that I'd completely ignored the possibility that I'll have a boy… I'm so stupid sometimes. (I guess dropping out of college doesn't even matter.)_

_As I wrote before, it's now or never. If I don't get away soon, someone will figure it all out and there will be no point in going. I had decided a little while ago that some time this week I'd get a bus ticket and pack my bags. No looking back. But it's so much harder to do than it is to write. I don't have that kind of emotional strength. The person who would be really good at this is Prue. From what I've been told, she didn't even cry at mom's funeral. And she was eight years old! That's tough. I'm not. But there's no way Prue would be irresponsible enough to get herself pregnant. That's my area of expertise._

_Today I took the car and drove around the city, just to see what all I'll be missing when I leave. I walked around the mall some- there are so many things I won't be able to buy! I have to save every penny, grab every coin from the streets from now on. There will be no splurging. I won't have anyone to hold me up anymore. In New York, I'll be all on my own. Something I've never, ever been before. It scares me._

_As I strolled through a store today, I wondered if I'd ever hit a patch so bad that I'd have to steal things. And then curiosity got the best of me. I'm not actually even sure why I did it- I guess I just wanted to see how easy it was. My conclusions? It's not. Today I stole a pair of shoes and got caught. I could tell by the look on her face that Prue just loved that one. I guess I reaffirmed her thoughts of me being irresponsible. She's actually right about me… but sisters aren't supposed to be brutally honest like that! She shouldn't be the one to point out how much I suck at taking care of myself. But I'll have to deal with it if I'm ever going to survive out in the real world… all alone._

_You should've seen it earlier when those cops brought me home…_

"Aw, you guys didn't have to get out of bed for little ol' me," Phoebe said sarcastically. Two police officers stood behind her as she leaned against the doorframe. Grams, Piper, and Prue were all there watching to see what she'd gotten herself into this time.

"Mrs. Halliwell?" One of the cops asked Grams.

"Can I hear what she did first before I answer that?" The suppressed anger was obvious in her voice. Phoebe knew she was going to get in big trouble for this one.

"She was caught shoplifting," the cop replied.

"Oh, that is so not true," Phoebe said, trying to make herself seem less guilty. "I just forgot to pay for them, Grams. The store's not even pressing charges!" She knew how pathetic she was sounding.

"Phoebe…" Grams said sternly.

"Oh, please don't sound so disappointed," Phoebe pleaded. "Look, you're always talking about how we should spend more time together, and well, here we are…" No one took their gaze off of her. "Okay, that was really fun." She stepped into the house.

"Phoebe, what is the matter with you?" Grams asked. "How can you behave so recklessly? What about your destiny-- your future," she corrected.

"Well maybe my future plans don't match up to the ones that you've mapped out," Phoebe replied, standing her ground.

"We're uh, gonna need to take back those shoes that you-"

"Forgot to pay for?" Phoebe finished for the cop.

"Right," the cop replied. Phoebe obeyed and handed the stolen shoes back to them.

As they shut the door and left, Phoebe could feel the tension swelling in the room. Everyone was mad at her- she could sense it. Prue classically rolled her eyes at the latest charade.

"I have to be somewhere," she said emotionlessly. She walked by Phoebe and out the door without even looking at her. Grams stared at the floor. She sighed and left the room. The gesture was done to make Phoebe feel guilty- and it worked.

"How could you do that?" Piper asked.

"Piper, I- I…"

"Save it, Pheebs," Piper interrupted. "I can't believe you'd do something so stupid." She shook her head as she walked towards the kitchen.

_I had expected Prue and Grams' reactions, but not Piper's. I guess it was because I had never actually committed a felony before. She was the one person who would always cheer me up, not look upon me with shame. I guess they all hate me now. Well, just another reason to go to New York. Now that I've seen how Piper reacted to me shoplifting, I can't imagine how devastated she'd be if she found out I'm pregnant. She'd probably think something like "Well, there's no hope in her turning her life around now." It's weird. Ever since I got pregnant, I almost seem to know what people are thinking about. Must be hormones or something. _

_And that one comment wasn't the only thing she said to me today. I guess she's trying to put me on a guilt trip, too. It's probably to shock me out of my rebellious attitude before I do something really stupid… if only she knew._

"Okay girls, now if you could just move a little closer… okay? Phoebe, turn to me. I want to be able to get your good side," Grams instructed. She was about to take a picture of the Halliwell sisters on the Manor's front steps with her new camera.

"I don't think she has one today, Grams," Piper replied. The comment hurt, but Phoebe hid her emotions.

"Can we please get this over with?" she asked, sounding impatient.

"Why? You got plans?" Prue asked. Phoebe hated it when her sister pried into her personal life. She hoped Prue would drop the question.

"Prue, all I'm getting is shoulder," Grams said. Prue shifted.

"Anyone that I know?" Prue asked Phoebe, who rolled her eyes at the familiar snipe.

"I'm sure lying beneath all that sarcasm there's a point," Phoebe began. "And if it has anything to do with Roger-"

"Well, I mean, he said you called him yesterday," Prue interrupted.

"Looking for you!" Phoebe replied. "Prue, I'm not gonna defend myself when I didn't do anything wrong."

"Really?" Prue asked incredulously.

"I'm just trying to be nice to the guy, considering he's gonna be part of this family soon. You know, I'm not even sure _I_ want to be part of this family."

"Uh, the sun is shifting," Grams interrupted. "Could you move down a step, please?"

The sisters obeyed. "And whywould I waste my time on a wimp who's got mother issues?" Phoebe asked Prue, continuing their argument.

"I don't know, but why should I believe anything you say?" Prue asked. "I mean, you don't even know the difference between what belongs to you and what belongs to- oh, let's say Macy's."

"Alrighty then, are we done?" Piper interrupted, knowing that Phoebe was about to boil over.

Suddenly, Grams grabbed her chest in pain.

"Grams," Phoebe said, worried. She and her sisters approached their grandmother.

"Grams," Prue echoed, also concerned.

"Okay, okay, take shallow breaths," Piper instructed.

"Should I call the doctor?" Prue asked.

"No doctor," Grams insisted, fighting off the pain. "Just a picture. Is it too much for an old lady to ask her granddaughters to retract their claws, stand still, and look at me long enough to take one lousy picture?" She asked. Her voice sounded downright infuriated.

The girls could tell she was sick of their constant fighting, so they pleased her by standing over on the lawn and smiling as Grams snapped the shot.

"Now, was that so hard?" Grams asked them as she lowered her camera. Prue started to walk towards Grams, so Phoebe naturally went the opposite way into the Manor.

_That's the only time the three of us can ever get along. When Grams is in pain. She's the one person we all care about. Well, hopefully soon I won't have to deal with any arguments or guilt trips any longer. Earlier this evening I took the car and drove downtown. I had intended to get a bus ticket, but my nerves were making me feel sick to my stomach. Instead of risking driving and throwing up, I decided to pull over on the side of the road and think. I figure I'll either go get a ticket tonight or tomorrow. If I prolong my departure any more than that, I'll never leave San Francisco._

_A few minutes ago I asked Piper if I could talk to her. I just can't hold this in any longer. I know just this morning she was disappointed in my irresponsibility, but I have to tell her. I need advice. One comment doesn't make her a bad sister. It takes more than that, like sexual harassment accusations, and mistrust, and… oh forget it. It's obvious I'm describing Prue anyway, why bother writing a giant sentence? Anyway, so Piper said she would come talk to me in a few minutes. I'm waiting for her in my room now. I figure she'll walk in and see my bags all packed, and then ask me what's going on. That's when I'll drop the bombshell. "Piper, I'm pregnant." It seems so easy to say in my head, and on paper, but I'm nervous as hell right now. If only-_

_I have to go._

As Phoebe heard the scream of pain and the crash, she immediately stopped writing and rushed out of her room to see what was going on. This time she didn't even bother to hide away her diary- she was too concerned about what had just happened. As she rushed down the hall, she saw Grams lying at the foot of the attic staircase. Piper was knelt over her. Phoebe dashed to her unconscious grandmother's side, and Prue soon followed.

"Somebody call an ambulance!" Prue ordered.

"I'm on it," Phoebe said. She ran as fast as she could to the nearest phone and dialed 911. This was the first time in so long that Phoebe had taken an order from Prue. But she didn't dwell on that fact just then- she was too concerned that her grandmother was about to die, or worse… already dead. A woman's voice came on the other line.

"I-It's my grandmother," Phoebe stuttered. "I heard a scream and a crash and I stepped out of my room to see what was going on and she was lying on the floor." Phoebe looked back at her sisters. Piper was understandably in hysterical tears as she held Gram's limp hand. Prue however kept a perfectly straight face. She stared deeply into Gram's face, not blinking at all. She didn't even move. It was like she was frozen to the spot.

"1329 Prescott Street," Phoebe told the dispatcher. "Her name is Penelope Halliwell. She has a heart condition. Please get here quickly!" Perhaps Phoebe would be staying in San Francisco a little longer than she'd planned…

A/N: As I wrote this I wondered if it would be boring because it so closely revolves around an episode most of us have already seen, so sorry if it was! I'm also still wondering how accurate the episode transcript site I used for this was... I wanted everything to be word-for-word. So, sorry if it wasn't!


	9. Goodbyes

A/N: I planned to update this yesterday, but for some reason I couldn't log in... Anyway, this is the last chapter. Thanks to all who reviewed and enjoy!

Alyssa Halliwell: Oh cool, you've got an M name... funny how things work out like that... Glad you didn't think the last chapter was boring, that was my biggest worry while writing it.

charmed4eva1990: Yep, that's why Phoebe moved out. I wanted to write a fic that was creative and still fit in with the continuity of the show pretty well, so, here we are...

Princess Pinky: Glad you thought me using scenes from Pre-Witched was so effective!

MidniteMagick: "best one so far," eh? I guess you've been reading this without reviewing... well, thanks for dropping me a note! About the morning-after pill: As far as I know, there isn't one on the market in the US, and there certainly wasn't one around in the 90s. So that's why Phoebe didn't use it. Hope that helps clear things up!

CHAPTER NINE- GOODBYES

_April 13, 1997_

_Grams died in the hospital a few days ago. Damn it was sad. The doctors said she'd had a heart attack. Piper's pretty broken up about it all, but of course Prue doesn't show any emotion- that android. Katie says that I should stick around here longer so we sisters can give each other support in our time of distress. But she doesn't understand. Clarks may work things out that way, but Halliwells don't. "We sisters" haven't gotten along in years, so how in the world are we going to help each other out now? And besides, staying longer means no point in leaving at all; my sisters will find out. I have to go… now. I bought the bus ticket a few hours ago. It'll get me as far as Vegas, and then I'll have to find a new route. Just knowing that I'm about to tell my sisters that they may never see me again is scaring the crap out of me. But hopefully once I get to New York, everything will fall into place. I'll have a whole new life. Chapter eleven, so to speak. Of course, I'll write as often as I can in my new home. But right now, I have to leave._

Phoebe sat in an armchair with her suitcase next to her. She was shaking as she waited for an opportunity to tell her sisters where she was headed. She'd been constructing thoughts of a good way to say it for a few days now.

"I'd still like to know what she was doing up there," Phoebe heard Prue say. She turned to see both of her sisters walking down the stairs. This might be her only chance to get their attention. She took a deep breath and answered Prue.

"Up where?" she asked.

"Piper thinks Grams was up in the attic before she died," Prue informed.

"That's not possible," Phoebe reminded. "She always told us that attic was sealed off."

"Yeah, well then what was she doing coming down those stairs?" Piper asked. It _had _looked as though Grams had fallen down the attic stairs when they found her lying in the upstairs hallway. But Phoebe knew pondering about this notion would take a while, and possibly ruin her chances of finding an opportunity to break the news.

"I think the more important question is, what are we doing?" Phoebe asked, changing the subject.

"What do you mean?" Prue asked.

"I mean precisely what Grams was always so concerned about. Our future. The only reason we're all still here together is because of her, and now Prue, you've already got one foot out the door, and Piper I know you don't wanna bunk with me any longer than you have to. So let's just face it, she was the glue," Phoebe said.

"Why don't we talk about this over dinner?" Piper suggested. "I'll make one of Grams' favorite meals. She always liked the idea of me being in the kitchen."

"Uh, actually I'm sort of supposed to spend the night with Roger," Prue said.

Piper looked hurt by Prue's abrupt act of blowing her off, but she shrugged it off and turned to look at Phoebe. "What about you Pheebs, table for two?"

Phoebe knew this was it. She was about to walk out the front door of the Halliwell Manor and possibly never return. "Uh… actually, I was thinking about getting out of here."

"Are you going out?" Piper asked.

"No," Phoebe sighed. It seemed to get harder and harder with every word she said. "Going away. I'm not sure what my future holds, but I do know it's not in San Francisco." She picked up her suitcase and swung it over her shoulder.

"Phoebe, you don't have to-" Prue started.

"It's okay," Phoebe interrupted. "We all know that the only thing I contribute to this threesome is trouble, so… I'm gonna go see what New York thinks of me. Whatever my destiny may be, I might find it there."

"Phoebe, what about school?" Piper reminded.

"School will still be here if I come back. …Grams always said that we all had a purpose. Maybe we'll have an easier time finding it on our own."

Phoebe turned and walked out of the room, down the hall and out the front door. If she had stayed to say her goodbyes, she knew she might get way too teary-eyed and emotional to even leave. Sure, she didn't get along with her sisters, but she still loved them. Plus, she was scared about starting over all on her own. As she walked down the front steps, she guessed that she was probably forcing all of the Halliwells to start over by doing this. What would they do without her there? Would Prue stop being so bitchy once she settled down? Would Piper decide to pursue her dream career after all? There were so many things that Phoebe knew she was going to miss out on in their lives. But she couldn't dwell on all the cons just then. She had to leave if she wanted to get to the bus station on time.

"Phoebe?" Piper said, peeking out the front door. Phoebe turned around to face her sister.

"What is it?" Phoebe asked. She could tell that Piper had been crying recently. A wave of guilt swept over her as she thought that perhaps her departure was affecting her sisters more than she predicted it would.

"Do… do you need a ride or something?" Piper asked. "I mean, do you expect to walk to New York?"

They exchanged a smile over the thought. "No, just to the bus station," Phoebe explained.

"Well in that case, can I drive you there?"

"That would be great, Piper," Phoebe agreed. "That would be great."

As she stuffed her things into Piper's Jeep, Phoebe thought back to a few nights ago when she had planned to tell Piper what was really going on. Of course, the issues with Grams made it so that that conversation never happened. Should it happen now? Phoebe certainly had the opportunity. And she certainly wanted to. But did Piper really need that shocker on top of everything else she had to deal with right then? Phoebe figured her emotions had suffered enough. So she remained silent as they pulled out of the Manor's driveway.

"Do you, um, do you have enough money with you, Phoebe?" Piper asked.

"Oh, Piper, please don't. I'll be fine," Phoebe assured.

"But I'm worried about you, Phoebe. You're gonna be all alone on the other side of the country with no one you know and nothing more than a High School Diploma."

"That's not even the half of it," Phoebe whispered.

"Hmm?" Piper asked.

"Nothing," Phoebe answered.

"Well… promise you'll keep in touch anyway. And come back if something happens. You're always welcome here."

"Somehow I don't think Prue would agree with that statement," Phoebe commented.

"Yeah, well, soon she won't even be living in the Manor anymore. Don't worry about what she thinks, Phoebe. She's not why you're leaving, is she?" Piper asked.

"No, no, of course not."

"Why then? Why so suddenly? And why New York? If you want a change of scenery, why not Oakland or something?"

The answer was because Phoebe's sisters could still find her in a place so close by, but she lied about that in her response. "Because… dad's in New York."

"Oh, Pheebs, please tell me you're kidding," Piper said.

"No, I'm not," Phoebe replied. "I want to find him. I want to know the real reason he left us so many years ago."

"Are you going to try to find the 'real reason' Grams was going up those stairs before she died, too?"

"Piper, please, I don't need the sarcasm right now. I want to do this. I want to get out of here, and he's there. So I'm going."

"Well…" Piper began, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, honey," Phoebe answered.

"And Prue'll miss you too, even if she doesn't say it."

"Well make sure you tell me if she does, 'cause I want to know if something like that happens," Phoebe smiled.

"I will, I promise. As long as you give me your address or phone number or something. We should keep in touch."

"I promise I'll do that." The car pulled into the parking lot of the bus station. Phoebe got a sick feeling in her stomach as her nerves took over. Maybe she should take Piper up on that money offer after all… no, that would feel rude. Piper got out of the car with Phoebe and helped her with her luggage.

"Have a safe ride," she said. They hugged. "I love you, Phoebe. Take care out there."

"I love you too, Piper. …Goodbye." As soon as she said the words, a tear or two escaped her eyes.

"Just remember that we care about you, Phoebe," Piper said. She was teary-eyed, too. "Don't stay there longer than you have to because you think you'll get a cold reception back home."

"I promise I won't," Phoebe said. She wished she really could do what Piper just told her she could. But she knew her reception would be anything but warm if she came home carrying a little bundle of joy. She would have to stay in New York for quite a while. Hopefully she would be able to give her baby a good childhood, and not have to raise her on the streets or something. Phoebe snapped out of her thoughts, knowing that the longer she dwelled on them, the more qualms she'd have about leaving.

"I, uh… I guess you should go now," Piper sniffled. "Don't want to miss your bus."

"Right," Phoebe agreed, drying her eyes and gathering her belongings. "Bye, Piper."

"Goodbye, Phoebe."

After she'd entered the station, Phoebe turned around and watched Piper drive away. This had to be the saddest day of her life. Any more emotional turmoil and she'd have to find a bathroom to throw up in. It was quite annoying how pregnancy could do that to someone. With unsteady steps, Phoebe approached her bus. No going back now. Today she started her life all over again. No fooling around anymore. This time she was going to be a mother; she had to be serious about everything.

Maybe one day everything would change- she would resolve her conflicts with her sisters, know her father, be a good parent, have some responsibility… but for now, she was just learning, taking life one step at a time. And it was the scariest, most memorable thing she'd ever done.

THE END

A/N: So, did you like it? Well guess what, this was all a shameless plan to reel new readers into a series of fics I've already written about Phoebe and her baby! If you want to read the story that continues this, it's called _Phoebe's Journey_, and it's a songfic. There's more after that, but you don't have to read them if you don't want to… (This was my first fic with chapters, so they all only have one long one as opposed to many shorter ones.) Enjoy! Thank you to all my reviewers!


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